I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
