I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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