There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
