I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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