You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
