it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
