I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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