would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
