Already got asked if we're dating
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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