We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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