and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I fill condoms, not promises.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
