I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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