PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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