READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize