Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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