i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
it's like iHOP with fire
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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