Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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