guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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