I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think I am morally bankrupt
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
