Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
