So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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