Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You are the jesus of drinking
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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