Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I could have mohawked her pubes.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
