i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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