Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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