don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
