Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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