just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
