Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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