Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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