You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she looked like the before picture.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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