I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
