I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
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If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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