Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
