just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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