What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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