I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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