We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
