Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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