I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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