I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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