i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
