So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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