when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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