I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
