Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
