You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize