3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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