When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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