apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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