i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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