mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize