Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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