I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
