ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
