So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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