sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize