hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
