please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
