Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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