How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
