You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
