home. puking in laundry basket.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
